At Celebrate Recovery we read the five guidelines during the open share group time every week. 

Guideline 2 states:

There is no cross-talk. Cross-talk is when two individuals engage in conversations excluding all others. Each person is free to express his or her feelings without interruptions.

This is the basic guideline and can be extended in the following way:

Cross talk is also making comments or asking questions while someone is sharing, this includes speaking to another member of the group while someone is sharing or responding to what someone has shared during his or her time of sharing.

This guideline is about respect. When other participants are sharing, we don’t want to interrupt their thoughts and feelings, which may be very deep or painful.  It’s their time to share about their recovery.   So anything that would give the impression that we don’t care about what they have to share, could be considered cross talk.

Allowing people a safe, uninterrupted space to be able to share openly without any fear of being judged, criticised or fixing from others in the group will encourage openness and honesty in the sharing time. 

For some participants their open share group might be the only opportunity they get to be listened to in their week, so affording them and us, that respect will help them to feel valued and a part of the group.  It also means one or two individuals don’t get to dominate the group and that everyone knows they will be heard.   

Recovery works best when we get honest about our struggles and so quite often people in their small group may share things that they have never told anyone else, which usually means they are about to share something big, so it could be devastating if they see others whispering during their share, and cause anxiety that the space is not safe.  Similarly, I know for me, having people listen without interrupting my share time, be that a struggle or a victory, helped me to feel that I was not alone – that my group were with me and not against me.

Another aspect of this guideline is not responding to what another participant has shared when we have our share time.  Sometimes things can come up that you feel are similar to your own story, but it’s important we don’t raise that – we don’t want the group to feel like a competition as each person’s recovery is unique – and nor do we want to appear to be trying to fix their struggle (which we will cover in more detail in Guideline 3).  

As in Guideline 1, we need to be focusing our sharing on whatever God has shown us in the teaching or during the week, and keeping our sharing focused on our own recovery.

If cross talk happens, the leader will ask that participant not to cross talk.  This is not to shame anyone, it is simply to ensure that the group remains safe for everyone who attends. 

I believe it is a huge privilege to hear people share honestly about their struggles and victories; we want to ensure that space is honoured and protected.