Ever wanted to tell someone that you know how they feel, that you’ve been where they’ve been, and they just need to do this, that or the other and they’ll be fine?
That’s fixing! And at Celebrate Recovery we don’t fix!
That’s because we don’t actually know exactly how they feel. We haven’t been exactly where they’ve been. And ‘this, that or the other’ may well have worked for you but you are not them.
It’s also because Jesus Christ is the true Higher Power – for you and for them. He does the fixing – and He does it better than we can!
Have you seen an eclosion? That’s when a butterfly emerges from its chrysalis. For some time, it’s been changing from caterpillar to butterfly and once its metamorphosis is complete, it battles to free itself from its tight wraparound. Were you to watch it wriggle and struggle to escape, you may be tempted to grab some scissors and help it along on its journey to freedom. However, the process of emerging from the chrysalis is important for the butterfly. The struggle strengthens its wings. ‘Helping’ in this situation is not helping! You would hinder the butterfly from becoming all it can be.
It’s important in recovery too that we don’t overstep our role of supporting by trying to fix another. That’s one of the reasons I love Celebrate Recovery. There is Jesus-centred teaching based on the Bible that people can apply to their lives as and when they are ready. There’s a safe space in our Open Share Groups for articulating our struggles and how we are learning to get free. And we have support and encouragement from others in our groups and from our sponsor and accountability partners – but no fixing. We recover in our own timing as we learn to surrender to God and follow His lead. (Of course, if someone is in danger, we may need to step in.)
So, when you hear someone sharing struggles that you’ve overcome, quietly pray for God to set them free. Share your testimony in the Large Group. Be open and honest about your own struggles and recovery in Open Share. Don’t try to fix them, because you may do more harm than good. Trust God and His timing for them.
The Celebrate Recovery Small Group Guidelines keep our sharing time safe. Read them here: https://www.celebraterecovery.co.uk/small-group-guidelines/
